School and life in general.

My last post was ages ago and it's about time I wrote again. Just to fill you in...

I returned to Estonia on the 2nd of July 2009 and went back to school on the 1st of September of the same year. I have now successfully graduated high school. I was actually the best of my year in my school. I applied to study in Tartu University. I was 7th to get in out of 103 applicants, so I'm quite proud of myself. I will be oficially enrolled to study Sociology, Social Work and Social Politics on the 19th of August.

I am currently looking for an appartment which I could stay in but if that doesn't work, then I know I'm welcome at my brother's home. Right now I'm at home, in Kavastu and I can't describe the peace I feel here. It seems that however long I stay away from here, it is still HOME. I love my mum for making me feel welcome whenever I show up.

In future posts I plan to describe my life in more detail but more than that, I want a place where I can write down my thoughts on school and the relationships that I am involved in. It is awesome to know that I will atleast know one person on my course when lectures begin, as she looked me up on Facebook when we had a brief conversation while queing for our interviews. She is AWESOME for doing that.

I think that's it for now. Talk to you soon :)

Maret

Love and friendship

Every time I walk to work I read the signs I pass on the way. Two of them have some graffiti on them that make me smile. The first one I pass just says "Love ^.^" the other one I pass tells me to "Love more ^.^" I don't agree with all sorts of graffiti but I truly think this one has a point. If this world would be filled with love we would be so much closer to happiness. I was shown love and care yesterday where I wasn't expecting it and because of that I started to see that God is in everyone in some way. I was at work and got upset over something really stupid, but nevertheless I was upset. This person was about to head home but he stayed to see what was wrong as I sat there eating my tea on my break. When I told him he offered me a hug and told me not to let that place get to me. That for me looks like Christian love. It is caring action towards people who need it whether you know them well or not.

Someone once told me that a person needs 12 hugs a day to be completely happy. I don't know if it's true or not but I like to think that it is. Showing someone you care for them with a hug doesn't really take any effort but it makes at least me feel special when a friend hugs me. It makes me happy when I see other people hug as well. Maybe I'm just obsessed with hugs but I think they are special.

Being friendly and loving towards a stranger is one hard thing to do. As I work in a place where you see many people I have had to work on this ability. I am far from being loving towards people at all times but with God's help I hope to get there some day. When I see someone on a street I always smile and I have noticed that even though they look sad when they come towards me they still smile back and hopefully will keep on smiling. There is a song by Newton Faulkner which says "People should smile more, I'm not saying there's nothing to cry for..." I agree with him on that. Every person has reasons to cry but there are always reasons to smile as well and that is what I try to focus on even though there are so many times I fail.

If there was more love and friendship in the world the world would be a happier place. I have seen so many friendships break over some silly thing that was said or done and I wish they didn't and I think if we founded all our relationships with people on trying to make them happy so you can be happy with and for them instead of trying to make them feel happy so you can get something from the relationship. It is easy to say but very hard to do and I will do my best to do it.

I have noticed that the less you have the more you start appreciating what you have. I have a lot to appreciate. I have God who is love, a fiancee who tells me and shows me how much he loves me as well as he can and friends who care. I also have a home and a job that helps me get the money I need to live. I thank the Lord for all the great people and things I have in my life. And I thank you for reading.

God bless,
Maret

Cornwall

Cornwall is an odd place to be. When you wake up in the morning you don't know what is coming your way. People and weather wise. Specially if you have only been here for about a month. New location, new job and new people makes me miss the old. I can also see what good there is that I didn't see before. Both Tom and I had to start again here and it has been such a different experience to the one I had in Gratham. Here I didn't come into someones life and try to make it my own as well. Here I made my own life, not that it is done quite yet. I have made friends and for the first time I have been like I want to be, not holding myself back but being as I am and have had the pleasant experience of people actually liking me ... yay! I also feel that God is more present with me at work here than he was in Grantham because here I told people that I am a Christian rather than have them find out.
Life is full of wonders and suprises and changes and I have seen that my life is full of them. I am so greatful to God for helping me through all of these changes. Most of them have been pleasant I must say but I do miss Grantham and the people there. I suppose every change comes with a downside and all we can do is live with it and find all the good things in the change and focus on them. I'm off now as I really can't think of anything to say.
God bless,
Maret

New beginnings.

I have decided to start again. A fresh start from a new country and a different life and perhaps a different me as well.

My up to date description:
I'm 18 years old and living in England, more precisely in Grantham . I've been engaged to Tom Hodgetts for a little over 5 months now. At the moment I am working to earn enough money to continue my studies which I wish to continue as soon as possible. I am a Christian, continuously growing in my faith. I sing in a church band and am generally happy. To find out more about me and my thoughts, just read my blog.

New beginnings are great. They make me think of the past, the good and the bad in it.
As I have been here for over 5 months now I'm starting to see things I didn't see when I was in Estonia...The mistakes I made...The good things I had that I didn't notice... Things I need to forgive and the things I need to be forgiven for.
As a Christian I can think of another new beginning I have had. My baptism. The point where I showed everyone that my old life is gone and I am now filled with the Holy Spirit.
I have been learning a lot about forgiveness when I've been here. How crucial it is for our life in heaven with God and also in relationships with people.
I ask all the people who I have hurt in any way to find it in their hearts to forgive me although I don't deserve it. I am sorry.
I want to say that I want to lay all the hurt behind me and I can say that I have finally truly forgiven all the pain that has filled my heart for so long.
I have begun my new life without forgetting my past but with truly accepting it and I praise God for that.

Thank you all for reading!

God bless,
Maret